Glimmer of Hope. Part 16

Tuesday, June 11

One of our favorite nurses, Shannon, said that Emma took 25 from the bottle at all of her feedings since we left her the night before! Great news! And she weighs 6 pounds 11 ounces, so officially back over her birth weight!

I try nursing her for the 2 pm feeding, but she’s not super interested. Takes 21 ml from the bottle after.

I spend some time at Barnes & Noble with a coffee & a book.

I try nursing again at 6, she goes to town on the right side but won’t even latch on the left. Which is ok, as long as she is showing interest I feel successful at this point. Mike shows up just as I’m changing her diaper to offer a bottle, so he gets to take over.

She takes 40 ml!! Miracle, people. This is the most she has ever taken & it makes us feel so excited!

Mikes dad rocks E to sleep & we tuck her in for the night before going to dinner.

Wednesday, June 12

This day must have been hard. I didn’t write much in my journal except that it was a rough day.

I missed my husband. And I couldn’t control my emotions about missing so much of life at home with a newborn. By this point, a few friends had had babies since Emma was born & seeing all of their posts on facebook & instagram had me so upset & discouraged. And if I’m being completely honest, jealous. I hated missing out. I hated going to the hospital everyday. I hated that I just couldn’t have “normal.”

She’s taking about 30 ml at each of her feedings & the nurses seem to think she will definitely be in the NICU until her due date, 10 days away…

Not much of an explanation except she needs to eat. Other babies who are younger & tinier are taking more than Emma & going home faster. The comparison game is disgusting, yet I played it day after day…

Thursday, June 13

Emma takes 36 from the bottle right when I get there.

Brittany comes up to spend the day. She gets to cuddle E before we go to lunch.

We stop at Target so that I can send some supplies for church home with her.

My mom & Lexi come up. They bring the bracelet that my GLOW girls made for us. The one that they each prayed over as they put a bead on it. I tape Emma’s to her crib & tuck mine in my bag since it’s a little big.

Sean, Rene, Brendon, & Tree come up to take us to dinner. Since my mom, Lexi, & Brittany are there they tag along too!

Friday, June 14

Lynn says Emma was making a weird noise while she was feeding her this morning. So she took the feeding tube out & tipped E’s head way back. The girl took 70 ml. 70! Yes, 70!! What a good morning!

I put Emma in a cute outfit & we snap some pictures without the feeding tube!!! Of course, I instantly realize I need to cool it with the eating out. Oh wait…

Because of the sound, a specialist is coming in to scope her throat to make sure there isn’t anything going on that’s causing the odd noise.

I try nursing her & it’s so nice to do it without the tube. Our rhythm is so much better. Mike gets her to take 51 ml from her bottle, so Lynn tries getting her to finish it but she doesn’t have any interest. Instead of putting the tube back in, Lynn encourages us and says E must have gotten at least 20 from nursing.

We head out for lunch.

Mike gives E her next bottle & she takes 72 ml!! With her new progress, I am feeling scared to nurse her & drain her energy. Since the dr’s go by the amount she takes from her bottle & she seemed to be interested in it, I didn’t want to ruin that.

Daddy gets her to sleep & tucked in for the night.

We leave the hospital, for the first time, feeling hopeful. Feeling like maybe, just maybe, we’ll get to take Emma home soon…









to be continued…

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