Why I Live

{But as for me & my house, we will serve the LORD} Joshua 24:15

For many years I claimed to be a Christian. I thought I was going to live my life. Be nice to people. Do good things. And then go to heaven. It was those thoughts that made for difficult days in middle school when I started to realize that was not how it worked. 

It wasn't until I attended a Christian summer camp & truly saw young adults living completely unashamed of their faith, did I understand what "believing" really meant. I gave my heart to Jesus in the summer of 2000. And although I can't say that my life has been roses and sunshine ever since, I can say that I have had an unbelievable hope since that warm, summer night when I raised my hand and said I wanted to commit my life to the savior. 

I lived on fire. I went on missions trips. I shared Jesus.

Then I fell. I made stupid decisions. Mistakes that will forever mark my testimony. I turned away from God. Decided I could do this thing called life on my own. I stopped going to church. I pretended that someday, sometime in the future I would just ask forgiveness of all my foolishness and be the perfect Christian once again.

I got married to my high-school sweetheart, a fellow believer. We agreed that our life would reflect that of a Godly marriage. 

It didn't. For a long time. We went to church & we tithed & we felt good about where we were. But really, we were living in a marriage completely based around the worlds view. We were battling uphill in a place that simply does not encourage happiness.

Then, God pulled us up. He planted us in a church that is alive and speaks truth. With friends that encourage us. A pastor that shows us how to truly have a marriage that is something to be proud of. Relationships that matter and involve things completely different then what we were used to. 

I can honestly say, and my husband would agree, that this is where God has us. Praying together. Doing devotions together. Seeking God's plan for our future as a family. Learning to depend on Him and His plan, not our own. 

I have felt a complete renewal in my Christian walk. I don't have a religion, I have Jesus. 

And that's all that matters. 

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