I’ve been blogging for over 2 years, but I have never felt led to participate in this giant movement. The one where you pick a word to be your “theme” for the year. Looking back, I probably would have had to label 2012 as a year of patience. Complete patience. I felt like I was in a constant state of waiting. Waiting for a home. Waiting for a job. Waiting for a baby. Waiting for a change. Just waiting.
If I gave an honest reflection of 2012, I failed over and over. I struggled with the waiting. I didn’t want to be patient. I just wanted everything to happen. Fast. But God completely wrecked me. He continuously challenged me to be still. And oh how sweet that reward is. The miracle of life growing inside me, knowing that this is purely God’s plan. His timing will never compare to my wants. His timing will never compare to my selfish desires. He brought me to a place of brokenness. A place where He “basically” slapped me on the head and said “if you want all the desires of your heart, then get to work. Be faithful to my promise & I will be faithful to my promise.”
Which brings me to this year. A year of excitement and joy. The year that I will finally get the label “mama".” The year I will meet my precious gift. The year I will get to watch Mr. become a daddy. The year I will give abundant thanks to the King who continues to bless me.
This year will be a year of trust.
I’m trusting that Mr. will find a more financially stable job, one that ensures comfort for me staying home. I‘m trusting that the Lord will provide a nice home for us, one that I will finally get to call my own. I’m trusting that our sweet little peanut will enter this world healthy and strong. I’m trusting that my faith will grow. I’m trusting that my relationship with Mr. will continue to increase. I’m trusting that the Lord will continue to bless Believers Chapel. I’m trusting that the Lord will continue to grow friendships that foster respect and guidance. I’m trusting that I will continue to be blessed by the amazing girls in GLOW and Pearls.
I’m trusting that I will have enough trust.
2012 was a wonderful year, full of growth and new opportunities. It was also a year full of pain and frustration.
2013 will be a year full of trusting God & depending solely on Him. I’m recognizing my struggle with doubt and no trust. I’m recognizing that the more I doubt, the more I stress. It’s time I recognize that the more I trust, the more secure I feel.
What will your word be friends?
What will you commit to working on for this year?
What will you trust God with?
1 comment:
Oh gosh I am the same way. I doubt & worry too much!! :(
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